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Throughout history, great mean and woman have struggled to find order in chaos. To find patterns in the whims of nature, to interpret the will of the gods, and to see the future in the scribbles of half-mad prophets. And you — if you are reading this — are likely an heir to the same drive to seek truth in the ineffable. And you have been struggling to solve one of the greatest mysteries of the modern age:

What is the true nature of SMAFARGE!?

Seeker, it is time for you ascend. To join with your fellows and take the next step toward enlightenment and madness and pure gaming bliss.

It is time for you to join The Cult of SMAF!

What is The Cult of SMAF!?

The Cult of SMAF! is an order of truth seekers who have sworn to uphold a sacred oath of loyalty and secrecy and, in so doing, have made themselves privy to the words of The Angry One himself. Through their faith, they bask in His wisdom, receive His sacred teachings, and someday take their rightful place at His Table of SMAF!

But Seriously… What the Hell is This Bulls$&%?

Seriously?

It’s like this: on January 1, 2023, the SMFARGE! Speculation channel in the Angry Discord Server will be shut down. Three weeks later, on Friday, January 20, 2023, the Cult of SMAF! channel will take it’s place. However, the Cult of SMAF! channel will be available by invitation only.

How does one receive an invitation? One must first petition The Angry One for consideration and one must then participate in an ancient and mysterious ceremony whereby one confirms their oath to… it’s an NDA okay? A non-disclosure agreement. If you want to join the Cult of SMAF!, you’ve got to sign a legally binding agreement whereby you acknowledge you’ve got access to confidential information and trade secrets and that if you share them with anyone anywhere for the duration of the agreement, you will invite the retribution of The Angry One and the collective conscious at whose heart lies The Angry One… Angry Games, Inc. sues for damages.

After January 1, 2023, talking about SMAFARGE! will be restricted to certain channels and certain people and those people have to sign an NDA.

Why the Change?

Restricting SMAFARGE! discussion and hiding it behind an NDA gate comes as the result of an important change in the design and development of SMAFARGE! And that change is that I’m actually designing and developing SMAFARGE! For real.

For years, I’ve been doing design piecemeal. I’ve been piling up notes, scribbling in a journal, and building game elements in isolation as the whim struck me. That phase of design — let’s call it the If I Were Designing an RPG, Here’s What I’d Do phase — that design phase has dragged on for three years longer than I meant it to. The last several years of my life have been filled with drastic life changes — good and bad alike, but unexpected in either case — as well as illness, injury, and other bulls$&% — you know what I mean — so it’s not surprising, but really the why doesn’t matter.

As of January 1, I’m starting actual, deliberate design, development, testing, and iteration. You know, the sort of thing actual, big-boy game designers do and bloggers don’t. And because you’re all excited and curious about it all — and because you’ll ride my a$& and keep me accountable — I’m including you in the process. So, I will be releasing periodic updates and insights in the form of a SMAFARGE! Design Journal. It’ll start small, of course. Short updates no more than twice a month at first. The first few will be vague and fluffy and will only confirm or deny things you think you know already. But, as time goes on, I’ll reveal more and increase the frequency.

But before I can reveal anything real, I’ve got to make sure I can protect my intellectual property.

And that means NDAs and no more discussing anything over open channels. Those of you in the Cult of SMAF! will learn more and more about SMAFARGE! as time goes on. But those outside the Cult won’t hear anything about SMAFARGE! for a long, long time. Neither from me nor from you.

And That’s It

So what’s the Cult of SMAF! really? It’s a members-only discussion group about SMAFARGE! where all members agree to be bound under a non-disclosure agreement and into which I will release periodic design and development updates and essays.

Want to join the cult? Fill out a Petition to Join the Cult of SMAF! and then wait, patiently, for January 20, 2023 to come around.

Petition for Membership

Got Questions About SMAFARGE?!

Before you contact me with questions I ain’t going to answer until at least January 20, 2023, read this here little FAQ. It might have the answer you seek.

What is SMAFARGE!?

SMAFARGE! is the working title of my dream tabletop roleplaying game system. The one I’ve claimed for years that I’ve been working on and the one I am actually working on as of now. That title’s an acronym that works as both product description and design intent.

SMAFARGE! The Single Most Awesome Fantasy Adventure Roleplaying Game Ever!

The exclamation thingy is part of the name.

Are You Really Going to Call Your Game SMAFARGE!?

No. Don’t be an imbecile. It’s a working title. A placeholder. The game won’t be called SMAFARGE! That’s a terrible name for a game.

How Long Until SMAFARGE! is Done?

SMAFARGE! will be done when it’s done. And I’m not dumb enough to give a more specific timeline yet. When I have a firmer timeline or an actual release date I’m comfortable sharing, you’ll know. Everyone will know. I promise. Until then, asking won’t get you anywhere.

Truth is, I don’t know how long it takes for one person to design their dream RPG. Especially not with the scope I’m looking at.

That said, I can say there won’t be anything that looks remotely like a release date for at least eighteen months. And anything that looks like a release date will include a six-month lead time. So, either get in for the long haul or get out.

When Will You Start Playtesting?

When I’m ready. See above.

Can I Playtest SMAFARGE!?

Are you interested in playtesting SMAFARGE!? Well, no s$&%! Literally everyone reading this and every member of my online community and every gaming friend I’ve got are all interested in playtesting SMAFARGE! You don’t have to tell me you’re interested in playtesting SMAFARGE! I know you’re interested. I will not have a shortage of willing playtesters.

Look: early playtesting — alpha testing — will involve a very small group of hand-picked testers. And I’m not likely to start alpha testing until mid-2023. Beta testing will start with a larger, but still hand-picked group of testers. Playtesting will expand to larger groups over time, but it’s never going to be anything like an open playtest. I’m not WotC and I’m not Paizo and I don’t want to be either. I am not designing my game by playtest committee.

If you’re a member of the Cult of SMAF!, you will have the chance to try SMAFARGE! before the rest of the world sees it. I can promise you that. I can’t promise you any more than that. And when the game’s ready enough for you to try it, you’ll know. Until then, asking won't get you anywhere.

Can I Help With SMAFARGE!?

Are you interested in working on SMAFARGE?! Well, no s$&%! Literally everyone reading this…

I don’t mean to be a dick about this — I really don’t — but every time I bring up SMAFARGE!, I get a bunch of private messages about playtesting or proofreading or whatever. And this Cult of SMAF! thing is only inviting more. And it takes time to politely decline every request.

Right now, SMAFARGE! has all the people it needs. It’s got me. Someday, I’ll need contractors. And I’ll hired skilled people and pay them for their work. If you’re part of my community and you’ve got useful skills, you’re probably on a secret list at Angry Games, Inc. And when I need those skills, I’ll probably approach you. Otherwise, when I’m looking for a contractor, you’ll know. You’ll know what skills and qualifications I’m looking for and how to apply.

How Much of SMAFARGE! Exists Right Now?

I get this question a lot. And I always say the same thing: “more and less than you think.” And that answer is still the best answer.

I’ve been building and refining SMAFARGE! in bits and pieces for years. I’ve even iterated the design a few times. I haven’t been doing so rigorously or systematically, but I’ve done a lot more than fantasize about a game I’m going to make someday. I’ve even had two failed alpha tests. They didn’t fail because the mechanics sucked; they failed because of my lack of systematic rigor.

The point is, SMAFARGE! has actual stuff. It’s got a core mechanic, several major subsystems, and most of a combat engine. It’s got enough to cobble together an alpha build. And if SMAFARGE! was all I had to work on, I’d have the alpha built in a month. But it isn’t all I’m working on and there’s no way it can be.

That said, none of this s$&%’s been tested. Any of it — core mechanic included — could crash and burn at the table. I don’t think it will, but who can say? And the engine’s still missing a lot of parts. Even when I do have the alpha build, a lot of stuff will be held together with bubblegum and duct tape.

In other words, I’ve done both more and less than you might think.

And that answer will have to do. Until January 20, 2023.